everydayinamerica

Just as I can never imagine what its like for mothers to remember the loss of children on Mother’s Day, I can only say that it must be something like children remembering warm moments…and not so pleasant moments in reliving the presence of their mothers once in their lives…

For all of you who still have the living presence of your mother in your lives…remember the not so pleasant moments with compassion, and continue to share the love of, and loving “meddling” of your mothers in your lives…

My mother was horrifically and callously taken from me by a “family” and individual interferences by members of  systems run by broken people…My mother is still living.  My mother chose me as her caregiver, and the envy and jealousies of those involved separated us…forever.

The pain and the memories will haunt me…forever. No matter how hard you try, or people tell you to move on with your life, you never really can…nor can you do it.  The love and many other emotions of your life experiences with your mother is a fabric of tightly woven fibers which can never be torn asunder! Especially if your love is true.

I spent Mother’s Day, May 10, 2015, wishing my friends and other mothers that I knew, a happy Mother’s Day.  My mother was in my thoughts, every single moment…I wondered how she was doing…what she was doing…if her thoughts ever found their way to have me in them…if she was happy…sad…or indifferent to the world now around her…if she cared…if anything mattered…if I mattered….

I told my mother months before the attempt that finally succeeded in removing us from each other’s lives; that they would try to turn her against me, and I asked her to never forget me…she vowed that she never would…she kept telling me that she wanted to stay with me…

A few days before they took her away, I remember her laying in bed and saying, “Don’t go back.” She said it with such resignation, that I could only wonder how her heart must have felt…I cannot tell you how many tears I have cried remembering that… The Day After Mother’s Day brought tears and much pain in the knowing that I may never see my mother again before she leaves this world behind…

May 5, 2014 was the last day my mother and I saw each other…four days before Mother’s Day, May 9, 2014.  That is a sad and shocking story for another day….

The day after Mother’s Day is the beginning of reliving whatever took our moms out of our lives…and trying to hold on to moments and memories…the trauma of loss…and the “what ifs”….

Remember….is a place from long ago…

Remember…filled with everything you know…

Remember…when you’re sad and feeling down…

Remember…turn around…

Remember…Life is just a memory…

Remember…close your eyes and you can see…

Remember…think of all that life can be…Remember?

Dream…dream…dream…

Love is only in a dream…

Remember?

Remember…Life is never as it seems…Dream…

Dream…dream…dream…

Long ago…far away…

Life was clear…close…your…eyes…..

No matter where you are…I am there. I love you , mom….

God pity those who were instrumental in creating the travesty which robbed you of your wishes and dreams… and your desire to live out the rest of your life as you wanted… Alzheimer’s should not be a ticket to take unfair advantage and treat those afflicted as if they no longer have the rights to their own lives….

As a young Catholic girl, I was constantly being filled with religious literature cautioning me about my heart becoming “blackened” with sin…

I remember one picture in particular in my catechism book which depicted the progression of a heart eventually black with sin, by showing a child, whom behind stood their Guardian Angel.

The first illustration showed the Guardian Angel standing behind a beaming child with a beautiful, red heart.  The Guardian Angel’s hands rested on the shoulders of the good child, and the angel had a big smile on her face.

The second illustration showed the child had told a lie, and it reflected in the child’s heart as a little dark spot, and the Guardian Angel had lifted her hands up above the child’s shoulders, instead of them resting on the shoulders, and the big smile of the angel was now a slight smile…

The third and final illustration showed the child with a completely dark heart, and devilish smile, while the Guardian Angel had turned to the side, with her hands completely hiding her face in sorrow at the now “fallen” child.

Couldn’t this child be saved?

Today is the start of the Spring Equinox…the promise of new life…and new beginnings.  Spring is life! Spring is when all life recycles from the dormancy of the winter freeze.  Spring is the gift of everlasting life, in all its glory!

The new life that you asked for is here…use it well.  Understand the secret of life…in the essence of rebirth. Don’t waste it…don’t ignore it…embrace it with the magic that it brings! It is transformation at its finest.  It is the proof of the sacrifice made over 2000 years ago…

Behold His Light…in the wake of Spring!

You…hold the brush of new creation…Make the planet a better place for all….

Each day is a day in the moment…the moment of what? One day is a predictable moment of someone…somewhere…losing their life. In another moment, a life is being born…There is no certainty in any moment…of any day, that life on earth will ever be consistent in peace…love…happiness…and unity with each and every living thing on the planet…Each day, is a day in a moment, that you can bet on that…and be one hundred percent…in the moment!

Happy Birthday, Grandma!.

My Grandmother was born on February 7, 1910…and she departed this planet on October 29, 2007.  If God allowed and grandma decided to stay, she would have been 105 today! It was a blessing that grandma decided to go home after 97 years on this earth, because I don’t think she would have liked where this world is headed.

After coming from a place in time where she had to sit at the back of the bus, drink and eat and use public restroom facilities in segregation when out and about in public places…not have the right to vote, and be denied all other rights and equality under the U.S. Constitution, she would have been fit to be tied at finding out how the children of her only daughter, robbed her of her constitutional rights, along with the states of California and New Hampshire, by forcing her to live in a state she no longer wished to live in, denied her openly documented requests and wishes, to satisfy egos, greed and put her in the “control” of mentally ill and severely dysfunctional family members!

Had grandma still been alive, her grandchildren would not have dared to betray her daughter in the egregious and unforgiveable manner in which they did…filing a fraudulent, deceitful and lie riddled petition to gain control over her home and pension!

Grandma would have beat them within an inch of their lives, for betraying and destroying a family so callously and without any concern as to what they were teaching and showing the next generation about honoring the commandment of “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother…and the age old creed of “respecting your elders.”

I remembered…and after some concerns about my mentally dysfunctional family, I stepped up to the plate to honor my mother’s wishes when she came to me, and asked me to move in with her and take care of her finances and assist her with her daily routine… That was on April 3, 2009…family jealousies, envy and strife began once mom was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in September of 2009, with a successive diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s in 2010.  The diabolical youngest daughter started her bid at trying to get mom declared mentally incompetent, a year before her first diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment, which was the beginning of 2008!

Mom said she chose me because she knew she could depend on me… Grandma, I tried my best to protect her and grant her wishes…the world has changed, grandma…the world has lost its faith and most of its humanity…love is just a four letter word in many people’s vocabulary…compassion? Where is it? And God?! Grandma, you would turn over and jump up from your grave!

The absence of God and faith? May He have mercy on our souls…for those of us who lack courage to stand up for truth and justice…and for those who have replaced Him for false idols in the forms of other people, and materialism.

Grandma, your birthday gift from me will be that I will continue my quest to attain justice for mom, and punishment for all of those who broke the laws in order to gain their own self interests at her expense!

That quest will extend itself to include all of those like mom who find themselves victims of their own families and our dysfunctional bevy of individuals who bring their dysfunctionality and corruption to deceive and disgrace systems created to uphold integrity and insure the best of ourselves…

You see, grandma, it isn’t the systems that are broken, it is the people running the systems who are broken…the systems themselves are fine, but systems can’t run systems…people are needed to carry out the ideology of the systems…and if people are corrupt, the systems will be carried out in their corruption. What is broken must be removed and replaced with people of integrity and purpose to uphold the integrity of the systems.

It isn’t idealistic…many things which took place in grandma’s time and were accepted by many were changed by those who fought for Civil Rights and equality in this nation… We can never rest on the laurels of any victories won in the fight for human and civil rights and liberties…until man’s inhumanity to man can be overcome and replaced with true freedom in every sense of the word, we have a long road to trudge….