December 31, 2015…

The end of the road has arrived for another year…The final day of 2015. How fast this year has come and is now hours from being over.

When I woke up this morning I realized just how much time has “gone by” in my life… This year had been a difficult one, perhaps that is why it was obliged to fly by so quickly.  God is merciful in so many ways!

The difficulty that culminated in 2013 with a family and a system of justice gone bad, caught up with me this year in bouts of depression, anger and helplessness…things I wanted and meant to do to reach out in correcting the wrongs that were effected against the person most egregiously victimized, fell to the wayside once again.

Life has a way of just happening around you, and the best laid plans of mice and men disappear in the ethers, and a new year is suddenly upon us!

The last 12 months have left its mark on nearly everyone in ways we could or may not have imagined…we are confronted with the final countdown, and expected to pull it all together for the beginning of a New Year, 2016.

Are you ready? Speaking for myself, I don’t know….I want to start the New Year with a clean slate, but so much is still left unresolved…if you walk away from the collateral damage, it will only resurface in the New Year.

Really, there is no such thing as “forgive and forget.” It just tags along, nipping at your heels until it is addressed and resolved…I guess it takes another year to do that.  The realization I have made is that we carry it all with us, sometimes blindly, sometimes with much conscious awareness…because it is all woven into our fabric and our journey through this life…until our time comes to lay down the burden and meet our Maker…

So, we are on the precipice of another New Year…will it fly by like the last? I’m sure it will…and the way we will make it through is to remember this…just be true to yourself, in whatever you do…live the best life possible…ease your burden when and where you can…love everything and everyone without inflicting harm to yourself or the recipients of your love…and work hard at leaving the world a better place for those who will follow…

Our tapestry is continuous and time is just a perception…The end is only the beginning…again.

 

I Cannot Find Forgiveness…

 

I wish I could be a better person…I really try, but some days I just don’t make it. Some days, it just feels better to be in that moment of “freeze”… Neither here, nor there…just frozen in time, space and emotion.

It is devastating being an empath in a predominantly hateful world.  So many people who know in their hearts that they are committing evil, try to pass it off as good…I have an ex-family of those, and I will share their names…Lisa Boatwright, Deidre Bangs, Brenda Blake, Gregory Bangs, Brett Boatwright, his wife, and their issue, Shayne Berry, Tecoy Berry, Shajuan Blake, Ojwan Jiles, James Jiles, Mignon Jiles, and all those who stood by and did nothing while they committed their mentally dysfunctional deeds under the guise of “caring” about a mother, aunt, sister and grandmother, when they could care less about her… they took away her life, never came to see her, call her, or cared about what SHE WANTED…they only cared about what they could get, take and covet from her as their own! God, what the Devil has conceived in all of you!

I was banished from mom’s life because I loved and protected her…protected her at her request, from a “family” of dark, spiritually bankrupt and corrupt individuals, calling themselves, “family.” None of you know the meaning of “family.” And none of you ever will.

I have been silent about you all…not anymore! I will dedicate the rest of my days letting the world know about the sociopathic horrors that you all have committed against mom, Gerlene Bangs, and others, because any one who knows any of you, or ever will come to know you, must REALLY know you!!!

Knowing what you all have done, and how you try to pass yourselves off to the world as the “injured” parties, is just too much to bear…knowing the truth.  The truth will no longer be contained…

I am tormented day in and day out by the deliberate suffering mom endured, by Lisa’s fraud to the court to become a “conservator” over a mother whom she despised because she “repeated” a few things in a conversation to her…everyone does that, even you, Lisa! But then, you are “special.” You deny everything, even my nephew’s deafness…if you had gotten him the help he needed when he was a small child, he would have been better equipped to handle his fate, through his growing years, and may not have contemplated suicide, to get away from the likes of you!

Thank God, he confessed it to his cousin, and to me, otherwise he would not be here today.

You tormented mom so badly, that she asked me if I had a gun, when you came to New Hampshire with your lies and your fraudulently obtained court papers of conservatorship from California. With the aid of Ralph Palmieri, calling the Judge in New Hampshire to set up a mock “hearing” in a court of improper jurisdiction, when it was to obtain a permanent restraining order against you!

I asked mom why I needed a gun, and she replied, “To shoot Lisa…if you can’t shoot her, give me the gun, and I will shoot her!” I said, “Mom, she’s your daughter!” And Mom said, “I don’t care, it’s the only way she will stop!” I went into the bathroom and cried.

We were in a hotel in Massachusetts, because mom did not want to go home to our apartment, for fear that Lisa would show up there and take her back to California against her will…which is what eventually happened, due to the officious intermeddling of Barbara McPhee, Elliot Senior Health Center “Social” Worker, in Manchester, New Hampshire and Barbara Trahan, “Social” Worker Ridgewood Center in Bedford, New Hampshire, Chief of Police, John J. Bryfonski, and Patrolman Amy M. Champagne, Bedford Police Department.  Patrolman Amy M. Champagne interfered in a civil matter, along with Police Chief Bryfonski by honoring paperwork outside of New Hampshire’s jurisdiction.  There are laws that protect residents subjected to Foreign Conservatorships which they had no knowledge of, and had they not interfered Gerlene’s rights and wishes would have been protected. A gun and a badge give free passage to the breaking of laws…along with threats of arrest.

The social workers and the police officers entered into realms outside of their function and caused further damage to a situation which they knew nothing about.  Lisa continued to twists truths and realities to gain control and “possession” over her mother… To be continued….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Day After Christmas….

Somehow, Christmas didn’t seem like Christmas this year…So much has happened to take away the joy of a momentous occasion. The birth of our Savior was just another day…

It was just another day because so much of humankind has forgotten the reason for the Savior’s birth…so many have chosen to follow that which is fleeting, and that which holds no salvation to the human spirit. We have adapted into the ways of the world…we were cautioned not to be of this world…just to be in it.  We were to protect what is good and just…to uphold and support the truth at all costs…and we have fallen once again…and fail to uphold the laws which cement heaven…earth…and all that is outside of our scope of understanding.

We were charged to love one another…and someway, somehow, self -interests outweighed the supreme call of unconditional connectivity…clearing the way to be inhumane and unrelenting in destroying all that is good in the human heart…

What comes to mind when you think of “Christmas?”

What does it mean to you? Have you passed on the miracle of the gift of Christmas at all, with even the gift of a smile?

Christmas isn’t about the receiving of gifts….it’s about giving of yourself to light up the life or lives of others…with love…love that is given in the spirit of love…as He was born to give you the Truth…The Light…The Way….

He cries, and the Angels wail…because we have forgotten His purpose and His sacrifice…and our legacy of love….

Forgive us, Father…for we know not what we do…and have done.

A Christmas afterthought.

 

 

 

a day

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