The Day After Mother’s Day….

mom 3

Just as I can never imagine what its like for mothers to remember the loss of children on Mother’s Day, I can only say that it must be something like children remembering warm moments…and not so pleasant moments in reliving the presence of their mothers once in their lives…

For all of you who still have the living presence of your mother in your lives…remember the not so pleasant moments with compassion, and continue to share the love of, and loving “meddling” of your mothers in your lives…

My mother was horrifically and callously taken from me by a “family” and individual interferences by members of  systems run by broken people…My mother is still living.  My mother chose me as her caregiver, and the envy and jealousies of those involved separated us…forever.

The pain and the memories will haunt me…forever. No matter how hard you try, or people tell you to move on with your life, you never really can…nor can you do it.  The love and many other emotions of your life experiences with your mother is a fabric of tightly woven fibers which can never be torn asunder! Especially if your love is true.

I spent Mother’s Day, May 10, 2015, wishing my friends and other mothers that I knew, a happy Mother’s Day.  My mother was in my thoughts, every single moment…I wondered how she was doing…what she was doing…if her thoughts ever found their way to have me in them…if she was happy…sad…or indifferent to the world now around her…if she cared…if anything mattered…if I mattered….

I told my mother months before the attempt that finally succeeded in removing us from each other’s lives; that they would try to turn her against me, and I asked her to never forget me…she vowed that she never would…she kept telling me that she wanted to stay with me…

A few days before they took her away, I remember her laying in bed and saying, “Don’t go back.” She said it with such resignation, that I could only wonder how her heart must have felt…I cannot tell you how many tears I have cried remembering that… The Day After Mother’s Day brought tears and much pain in the knowing that I may never see my mother again before she leaves this world behind…

May 5, 2014 was the last day my mother and I saw each other…four days before Mother’s Day, May 9, 2014.  That is a sad and shocking story for another day….

The day after Mother’s Day is the beginning of reliving whatever took our moms out of our lives…and trying to hold on to moments and memories…the trauma of loss…and the “what ifs”….

Remember….is a place from long ago…

Remember…filled with everything you know…

Remember…when you’re sad and feeling down…

Remember…turn around…

Remember…Life is just a memory…

Remember…close your eyes and you can see…

Remember…think of all that life can be…Remember?

Dream…dream…dream…

Love is only in a dream…

Remember?

Remember…Life is never as it seems…Dream…

Dream…dream…dream…

Long ago…far away…

Life was clear…close…your…eyes…..

No matter where you are…I am there. I love you , mom….

God pity those who were instrumental in creating the travesty which robbed you of your wishes and dreams… and your desire to live out the rest of your life as you wanted… Alzheimer’s should not be a ticket to take unfair advantage and treat those afflicted as if they no longer have the rights to their own lives….

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a day

May 2015
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